A Tug on a Red Thread -- China

by Toddie Downs

According to an ancient Chinese belief, an invisible red thread binds people from their birth to those that they are one day fated to marry, and though the thread may stretch or tangle, it will never break. The community of families adopting from China has widened that concept to traverse time, circumstance, and country so that this red thread also binds parent to child. In the spring of 2005, my own red thread will pull me to China to meet my infant daughter and bring her home to live with and love a new family.

In 1992, the People's Republic of China passed a law allowing the adoption of children by foreigners. Two hundred six immigrant visas were issued that year for Chinese orphans. Since then, the number has skyrocketed. Statistics published by the U.S. Department of State indicate that 6,859 immigrant visas were issued for children from China in the year 2003, and the numbers increase every year.

Why are Chinese adoptions so prevalent? What makes a person choose to adopt a child from China amongst the multitude of domestic and international options? Among the possible reasons are: adoption in China is very organized and well-regulated, overseen by the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA); because of population control policies, there are thousands of waiting children, mostly girls; and the children have tended to be in good health. There may be intangible reasons as well. I know that for myself, I felt an emotional tug whenever I read about babies in China that made me certain that my daughter was there.

Margaret Cole, Executive Director of European Adoption Consultants, Inc. in North Royalton, agrees, stating that many adoptive families feel something about a country that cannot easily be put into words that helps to guide them to a decision about where to adopt. At the same time, however, she strongly urges people investigating international adoption to research all the different options, to attend informational seminars about different countries put on by agencies and learn as much as possible about the choices before making a decision. She asserts, "When you learn as much as you can before you start, then your decision will feel right, and you can have a sense of calm during the adoption process."

And what a process it is. Interested persons must first find an accredited agency in the United States to guide them through the process, for the Chinese government does not allow independent adoptions. Cole considers the pairing of agency to adoptive parent to be a "marriage" of sorts, and counsels prospective families to make sure the agency they choose has a reputable history in China; has post-placement events for families; has hours convenient to families to call with questions and concerns; and has strong staff support in China during the travel phase of the process.

Once an agency has been chosen, the paper chase begins. It can take several months to complete the home study and compile all the necessary documents required by the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services (BCIS) and by the Chinese government. Every facet of your life is examined, from past relationships to parenting philosophy. As my husband and I went through this phase, I joked that the only question unasked so far was our favorite flavors of ice cream. As tedious as the process is, and as invasive as it can feel, however, Cole reminds those undergoing the process that it serves the purpose of finding the best parents for each waiting child.

When the BCIS approves the application for processing the adoption in a form known simply, and very unromantically, as the 171-H, the dossier is complete and is sent to China, and the official wait for the referral and travel begins. In my story, this point is where I currently reside. At the present time, families are receiving referrals, which consist of their prospective child's picture and pertinent medical and developmental information, approximately six months after the dossier has been received by the CCAA. If a couple or individual accepts the referral, they travel to China an average of six to eight weeks later to complete the process and formally adopt their child.

While this final phase is the part of the process I dream about, most adoptive families will be more than happy to share their "Gotcha" day experience (the day they met their child) to anyone who is interested. Wayne and Trina Morrisey traveled with a group of families from their agency to the Hunan province in 2002 to adopt their first daughter, and will be repeating the trip this spring for their second. They received their daughter the night they arrived in Changsha, although they had not expected her until the next morning. Wayne Morrisey indicates that his daughter accepted them immediately, and that by the end of a week, "all the children were blossoming, interacting with their new parents. It was a wonderful thing."

Morrisey also has wonderful memories of his trip to China, saying it was like a long series of highlights, "where good things keep happening." He happily recalls ordering tea where the teapots had spouts two feet long; watching tai chi in a park in Guangzhou; and visiting his daughter's orphanage and meeting the woman who had cared for her during her time there. He also gratefully acknowledges his agency's guide, Zhou, who not only arranged all the trips to the Great Wall and other must-see sites, but also managed the needs of the several families traveling together, including "taking you to the Hard Rock Café when you really needed a burger."

So I have all this to look forward to. But today I wait, and dream of the beautiful land where my baby still lives. And I give a tug on that invisible red thread that binds us together, just a small tug, just enough to let her know her mother is thinking of her and sending her love.

Toddie Downs is a freelance writer who lives in Cleveland Heights with her husband and son. Her family expects to adopt a daughter from China in spring 2005.